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Q: I just started dating a coworker, but I don’t know if I should tell my employer.
-Jim Mason, Dahlonega, Georgia
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Dear Jim, Dating coworkers is now very common, although it can also be a delicate issue. Dating can be exciting and fun, but professionalism and protecting your career should also always be priorities.
Do some research. Many companies have human resources information online or in an employee handbook. Before you discuss your personal life with someone at work, you should try to locate these resources and find out your company’s policy. If you know a coworker who is already in an open dating relationship with another coworker, they might be a good person to talk to as well.
Consider your positions. Are you dating a coworker from another department, or someone you work with who has a similar job on a similar level? Are you the person’s boss, or are they yours? These factors become important in the workplace, especially if one of you is a manager, because it could affect performance reviews and similar situations.
How serious is it? Are you just casually having fun, or is this a serious relationship? It’s important to keep a very open line of communication between you and your partner since the seriousness of the relationship could affect whether you should inform your employer. Going on a first date is one thing, but being in a relationship for a few weeks or months is another.
Be on the same page. If you decide it’s time to tell your employer or if human resources policy states that you should, make sure your partner is aware and understands why you are doing it. If they are surprised by this, it could lead to consequences for both of you. This is part of why it’s important to have a clear definition of what kind of relationship you have and how serious it is.
Before you think too hard about informing your employer that you and a colleague are dating, see how the first few dates go and take some time to define the relationship. The most important thing is keeping communication clear and open.
-Seymour
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