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Q: A very close friend of mine from work was just promoted and will now be my boss. I am worried that this new work relationship will cause tension and affect our friendship. Is it possible to be friends with your boss?
Submitted by William Fairtyn, Palo Alto, CA
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There are a number of effective techniques, and A: Dear
A: Dear William,
Your situation is not an uncommon one. We spend so much time in the office it is quite easy to develop friendships at work. But, as in your case, one day may come when one of your friends has been promoted, and is now your manager. Is it possible to maintain a friendship with your boss? Some say yes, others no. The best thing is to approach the situation with caution.
If you want to remain your manager’s friend, remember that your work environment is smaller than you think. Coworkers notice everything and unfortunately, it’s hard not to listen to gossip. The last thing you want for you or your boss is to create jealousy or resentment. To successfully maintain the line between friend and employee, keep the following in mind:
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Don’t expect special treatment.
This is not only unfair to your boss but also to your coworkers.
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Leave your friendship at the office door.
Don’t have conversations about weekend plans or previous activities. This excludes coworkers and can portray both you and your boss in an unprofessional light.
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Don’t take management decisions personally.
Remember, ultimately your boss wants what is best for the team. This may mean that your friend has to make departmental changes, shift duties and make personnel decisions. If you don’t get a promotion or you have to take on new job duties, understand these are not personal affronts.
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Don’t fall prey to the green-eyed monster.
Don’t get jealous if your friend starts having lunch with other employees or managers. As the boss, they have to ensure that everyone is treated fairly. They also need to meet with their boss to make sure everything is running smoothly and keep abreast of company policies.
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Socialize with everyone.
Develop other friendships in the office. If you go out with your boss, invite your coworkers. This will make everyone feel they are on an even playing field.
Ultimately, positive relationships at work make the job more enjoyable, and can increase productivity. But there is a fine line between what is and is not appropriate behavior. If you aren’t sure what is appropriate, ask if you would say the same thing to any other boss. Chances are, if you aren’t sure something is appropriate, it probably isn’t.
Good luck!
Seymour
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