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Q. I know the importance of maintaining a balance between my personal life and my career. But, I just can’t seem to stop thinking about work, no matter how hard I try. Could I be a workaholic?

Submitted by Nathan Streets, Springfield, MA

There are a number of effective techniques, and A:  Dear Mary,

A. Dear Nathan,

Workaholism is a serious condition in which a person has an overriding compulsion to work, so much so that it begins to undermine their personal relationships. It should not be taken lightly. Workaholics are not just people who work hard. They generally never stop physically or mentally working, always put work at the top of their priority list, and enjoy working more than anything else.

Here are a few signs to watch for that can help determine whether you work to live or live to work:

  • You Excessively Talk About Work.
     If you find that even during the most social and entertaining events outside of the office, you’re still constantly bringing up subjects of work, this could indicate a problem. Furthermore, if you feel uncomfortable or bored with conversing about any other subject besides work, this too is a sign of trouble.
  • You find it Difficult, Near Impossible, to Delegate.  
    Workaholics simply can’t or don’t delegate because of the difficulty in giving up control. If you feel strongly that the work doesn’t get done correctly unless you do it yourself, and prefer to handle everything yourself, you may be a workaholic. 
  • You have a Strained Personal Life.
    Often, people who are workaholics don’t maintain a lot of friendships or participate in sports and hobbies. In fact, the University of North Carolina published research that found couples in a workaholic marriage tended to have twice the divorce rate as those who were in non-workaholic marriages. This may be because a workaholic will consistently choose work over family – whether it is missing a child’s big sports event or working on the night of your wedding anniversary.
  • You Neglect or Forget Non-Work Obligations.
    Many workaholics spend all their time focusing on work-related tasks and appointments that they frequently forget about basic household obligations, such as laundry, dishes or mowing the lawn. Important health-related appointments like teeth cleaning or doctor visits are overlooked time and again.

If you’re unsure about whether you fall into the workaholic camp, pay attention to these signs and honestly assess your own behavior. Also, take note of comments made by family or coworkers. Do they remark on how much time you spend at work or doing work? Most importantly, remember that the sooner you identify any workaholic tendencies, the faster you can manage them and begin making up for lost personal time.

Seymour

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